[ This actually goes a little more poorly than he thought it might. His constitution isn't a fair weather thing, like the rest of him, really — but with as cracked and broken as his body is, he doesn't have much choice but to yield. It's in the simple task of moving that he finds out how close he'd allowed his heels to come to the edge. What the Var did to him as it surged through his synapses was set fire to insides. It would've ruined him, if not for Kaname. Instead, everything accelerated. Now, there's only ash. Gravity, the feeling of everything dropping out from underneath him, and then...
And now, having someone who won't allow him to fall, even if he would have done it again. A thousand times. However many it'd take to keep her safe. ]
There is. [ Messer balances on his other arm, fist clutched into the sheets at his side. By sheer force of will, he suppresses the shake in his nerves. It's his fault the clues he left were too few, too late. His fault that he'd staked everything on a fight he didn't even win. It's not like him, but it seems so faraway in comparison to how she says his name. ] There is a reason.
[ His temple meets hers, cheek to cheek as he leans into her heavily. Steadied by the crook of her arm, her warmth and the scent of dust and ozone makes his head spin. His forehead drops to her shoulder. ]
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And now, having someone who won't allow him to fall, even if he would have done it again. A thousand times. However many it'd take to keep her safe. ]
There is. [ Messer balances on his other arm, fist clutched into the sheets at his side. By sheer force of will, he suppresses the shake in his nerves. It's his fault the clues he left were too few, too late. His fault that he'd staked everything on a fight he didn't even win. It's not like him, but it seems so faraway in comparison to how she says his name. ] There is a reason.
[ His temple meets hers, cheek to cheek as he leans into her heavily. Steadied by the crook of her arm, her warmth and the scent of dust and ozone makes his head spin. His forehead drops to her shoulder. ]
So don't apologize.